The truth about being happy

I am currently sitting in my house on the lake, full fridge and pantry (granted all food I hate due to other people in this house still being confused on what qualifies as good food), wireless internet, and of course all the basics like running water. Why would I mention this besides trying to brag about my living situation? Well I assure you that’s not the point of this blog.

I spent the previous four days living in, well, I guess to put it in perspective; I have seen hotels with $5 hourly rates that were nicer. The carpets, spotted from years of spilled drinks, food, and other fluids that I am sure I would rather not know, gave off hints of odor from each of these forgotten spots now held captive by the fibers. The kitchen was full of dishes that appeared to have gone even longer without being washed than the carpet. In fact, while trying to pour a drink I was told to “just grab whichever one appears to have less mold”.

In the defense of the tenants, one of whom happens to be a very close friend of mine, they were in the process of moving across the street. Therefore they did not spend much time here and had not felt the need to go out of their way to clean an apartment they would soon be leaving.

Anyway the point of this article focuses more on some of the other aspects of this slowly dilapidating apartment, not the filth that had claimed it as the newest landlord. This apartment did have the luxury of electricity and running water. Yes I do mean luxury because that’s all it had. There was no phone line and therefore no internet, and while yes running water the gas had long been off resulting in a lack of water that did not border on 40 degrees. This made showering an experience that only an Eskimo could identify with. There of course was no TV either as I assume the gas bill would be slightly higher up on the list than cable. The only edible food I managed to find was a jar of olives in the fridge but those were reserved for martinis apparently and thus off limits.

The cause of such a sever lack of funds; Well the one works as an unpaid intern at The Buffalo News over 20 hours a week and then scrapes together what shifts she can as a waitress for Jack Astors. She is rolling in the dough. The other is the definition of a starving artist. In between his plays and paintings he scrounges up a few shifts as a waiter as well.

It was this situation that I decided to drive six hours and spend four days in rather than sitting in my comfortable, clean, amenity filled home. It’s amazing what one will do to spend time with another. I have always been one of those people that was in the mindset that if one can make money they should and those that put forth no effort and live in poverty were crazy, vaive and to be honest it annoyed me. Little did I know that my view was about to not simply be proven wrong, but lead to one of the biggest shocks of my life about how off I could be on something I felt so adament about.

I started off the trip by meeting Lena at Jack Astors as she was working one of her multitude of night shifts. I sat around, ordered some food and drinks and relaxed while she finished up. We then went back to her place, got around and spent a night walking around the town. 4 hours later we stumbled back to pass out at 3 a.m. in no condition to care about the condition of the home.

This is similar to how we would go about spending the next four days. We walked around town, went to a free concert held every Thursday in what is called the “Square”, spent nights playing cards, twister and catchphrase. Before I realized I was even there I had to leave and found myself thinking of anything I could do to delay parting ways. I did not once notice the horrors that existed in that apartment in the forms of mold and lack of basic utilities.

It was then that I truly realized. There is something to be said for scraping by on the seat of your pants. Every day was an adventure filled with finding random ways to spend time or get food or even take a shower. It was a four days of just enjoying being with people rather than worrying about everything else. The truth is that the majority of what we have we don’t need. Cliché I know, but I don’t simply mean we don’t need them. I mean lacking more can lead to experiencing everything else in new ways. Before this trip I had not gone more than a day or two without the internet and it wasn’t until I got home after nearly five days that it even crossed my mind. I was so caught up in spending time with these people and simply enjoying being alive that the rest of the world, even the room around me was a blur, but the people in front of me, the times we spent, I saw more clearly than ever before and it was a truly amazing experience. I can now say that the truth about living in poverty, it can be one of the greatest experiences of your life.

People will say “you were there for four days, you don’t know what it’s like to be poor” and that’s ok. These people I stayed with were by far literally the poorest people I have known. They had simply enough money to afford rent split between two people in a ramshackle apartment and if given the opportunity I would move in with them tomorrow. It’s this knowledge that makes me know I am justified in saying that, beyond being so poor that you may actually die, having no money can actually be an exhilarating and fun experience.

Theories, Only Awesome

I am about to drop a bomb on you. That’s right; this is going to blow your mind. It’s an explanation for two of the greatest mysteries known to man. Now while I admit I have no evidence to support my claims, actual evidence for these mysteries is essentially impossible to exist. Instead I shall demonstrate the ways in which my answer makes sense. It is a theory and nothing more, but a groundbreaking theory and therefore must be shared.

Let us start simple. We have life. Now, let’s think about how life is. Some people will say it is glorious and magnificent, while others will claim it to be hell and punishment. Let’s all be honest here though. Life is neither one nor the other. Overall it’s ok, kind of a mixed bag. You have your ups and your downs, your kicks to the groin (like the death of a family member), and your moments on cloud nine (like getting laid for the first time).

New topic now. At one point in our lives many of us have experienced something and felt like we had done, been, or seen the same thing before even though it is impossible. Sometimes it’s so strong that we almost know what is going to happen next (but if you have noticed it’s never anything helpful, what the hell is up with that?). It is crazy and in explainable. It is called déjà vu.

Finally we have something for all you fun loving Catholics out there (yes Catholics have fun too, and not just with little boys). There is this magical place referred to as, wait for it, drum roll please……..it’s: Purgatory (yay, crowd goes wild, people cheer, confetti is everywhere). Although, I guess the crowd should actually just go “meh” as that is what purgatory is essentially supposed to be like. It’s ok, you got shit to do to make up for your sins and what not, but its sure not like living in hell, getting a pineapple shoved up your ass ala Hitler in Little Nicky (yes, if you haven't seen it, Hitler spends every morning having a pineapple forcebly inserted into his anus by the devil).

Now let’s start piecing this together shall we. Most of the intelligent readers have already caught on to one of the ideas (if you’re not one of them I’ll give you one more chance to read the previous paragraphs, if you still don’t know you should probably just stop reading this now as it will all be over your head, thanks for stopping by, I’ll write a children’s book for you next time). Sorry random tangent there, but yes I was comparing life to purgatory. I don’t need to run through the definitions again I’m sure so seriously, do they not sound eerily similar? Could it not be possible that this is just a chance to make up for our previous errors? But wait if this is a chance to make up for our errors in the past than when was the past that we committed said errors?

Yay, the best part of this whole article, the explanation of déjà vu. What would explain déjà vu? We all have mystical powers and can see the future? If that were the case there would be a lot of gypsies living on the street (well I mean still living on the street, only with less money to afford their crystal balls and such). I have a better suggestion. Perhaps those crazy Hindus were on to something with their reincarnation idea. Perhaps after we die we are born again into the same life and live it over and over. This could explain déjà vu and even those crazier occurrences of having déjà vu about having déjà vu. Sometimes you feel like you have had the same experience like five times and you even remember having déjà vu about it the fourth, third and second time. This explains it all. Hooray crazy harebrained ideas are coming together.

Now, wait, I am not done. I did say I was going to explain two things which I sort of did already, but each still sounds crazy and farfetched. However as the elite of you may have started contemplating already these ideas tie together to form one MEGA IDEA, duh duh duhhh. Reincarnation is purgatory!!! What you say, how could this be? Well let’s examine. You live your life the first time. You suck at it, way to go, fail-tacular, you sinned one too many damn times (especially that hooker in Vegas during your bachelor party) but you did work at that soup kitchen once, hooray you don’t quit deserve damnation. Instead you get to live your life over again as a form of punishment known as……. Purgatory, good job. Now you go along this time and, you decide not to fornicate with said hooker this time (possibly due to déjà vu and then realizing what was about to happen would end with your fiancée leaving you), however you then went on to cheat on your wife after you got married, way to go moron. You did however work at the soup kitchen still so hooray, still no hell. But guess what, another dose of purgatory for you! This of course brings on possibilities for the early mentioned déjà vu of déjà vu. This goes on and on until finally you become a priest or something (and again, I am not talking about those that get it on with small children, pretty sure that’s a big enough setback to get you the Hitler punishment). Anyway this goes on and on and assumedly if and when we get it right, hooray heaven, here we come.

To sum up for those clueless people from earlier who didn’t stop reading when I told them to, I have explained what purgatory is and déjà vu. We live our lives over and over again due to the fact that we slept with a hooker, took one too many hits off the crack pipe, kicked that baby just to see how far he would go etc. etc. and thus get stuck reincarnated as a form of purgatory so that we can get it right this time. Then since we live our lives over again we remember moments from the previous life resulting in déjà vu. I have now explained déjà vu, life and purgatory, any questions? Well I don’t care if you have any but feel free to leave them anyway.

Disclaimer: This in no way reflects my personal beliefs and is meant to screw with gullible people. However wouldn’t that be cool as shit if this all turned out to be right.

Random Musings

Heres some random thoughts and experiences from a day in my life at college junior year. I'm not at the same point in my life now but a lot of it still stands true. This may helo you get a feel for things I think about and how I operate. Maybe some of you can identify with a few of these?


I take a drink of my full glass of Pepsi. I'm not thirsty but it's the socially accepted, and more importantly expected action when sitting alone in a cafe with a full drink. Otherwise I;m just sitting here by myself staring at the table and who wants to be that guy?



I can't tickle. I always feel more like I'm awkwardly trying to grope the person and nobody wants that. If you do let me know and I'll toss you my number, digits or whatever your preferred wording is for how to call someone.



A guy just sat down and started talking to me while I was reading. I had just just finished the chapter I was on. It's the best thing thats happened to me this week.



I ordered onions and those little ears of corn or whatever they are at the Mongolian grill. I don't really like either but I feel like the guy at the grill would judge me for telling him I only wanted beef and rice in a bowl.

People are down on the psychotic community these days but I feel like they live much more exciting lives than most.



People say it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. However, if you have never loved at all than you have no idea what your missing, especially with the person you would have lost. You can't miss what you never had.

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